If The Shoe Doesn’t Fit, Don’t Wear It! A Girl’s Guide To Dating In 2016

It’s 2016 and you still don’t know dick about dating. Your mind, body, and soul are motivated now, more than ever, to start this new year off positively and with a purpose. Maybe you’re an independent single girl in the city who’s career is blowing up, but your love life has been slowly burning out. Maybe you’re a young girl in the prime of her sexual exploration that does NOT want to be tied down. Maybe you’re a girl who’s been in a committed relationship with the person of her dreams. One thing I know for sure, relationships are like shoes.

I have gathered quite the shoe collection over the years. From flats to heels that are bigger than most dude’s dicks, there has seemingly been a shoe for every occasion (and relationship) in my life. When I first moved to Los Angeles I didn’t care about comfort, only about how good I looked when I went out for a night on the town. Most of the heels I wore to clubs or bars were, needless to say, impractical even though they totally took my outfit to the next level. These giant chunky “fuck me” pumps were sexy and uncomfortable like most short term relationships. There’s something intoxicating about meeting someone and instantly feeling a surge of energy and chemistry bouncing back and forth between you. Sometimes you have to strike while the iron is hot! Even if the iron is only hot for a few weeks until you ultimately realize that you don’t have anything in common with this person besides the unequivocally passionate sex you shared for a brief moment in time. No regrets though, the higher the heel the closer to heaven, am I right?

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum you have your flats. I can’t even lie I’ve never been a huge fan of the style. Every time I purchase the so-called sensible flat it’s an extremely painful experience. You have to wear most flats in (especially those ones with the scrunchy back!), which means loads of walking around (on what feels like your bare feet) and an ensured trip to Walgreens to buy Hello Kitty band-aids because something cute has to come from all of this suffering. This is a similar experience to when I tried to date a practical person. I’m sure you’ve been on a date with someone who looks good and meets every qualification you have on paper (i.e. has own apartment, goes to a 9-5 job, is extremely nice and pays for dinner etc.), but for some reason that spark just isn’t there. Maybe you get along with them really well socially, but you know for a fact that no matter how nice and stable this person might be, you have absolutely no future with them. Just like how you thought you wanted those classic flats, but ultimately you end up tired and lacking the support you really desire.

Everyone has that one pair of shoes they can’t let go of. The worse for wear, you’re afraid to let go of these babies because of how much you’ve been through together. No matter how much these shoes keep unravelling you refuse to throw them away (even though you technically can’t wear them out anymore and they’re more of just a novelty than anything at this point). I know a lot of people who are, or seem to be, stuck in relationships. I’m not saying there’s no love there - I mean obviously there’s love if you’re still tightly holding onto this person - but it’s apparent that the kind of love has transferred from romantic to platonic. Sometimes these relationships are one-sided (one person in love, one person feeling platonic) and sometimes both parties are just so comfortable because they’ve been together for so long that each person has forgotten how to be independent without the other. I’m not saying you’re wrong for being in this relationship - in fact if this is what makes you happy (being best-friends with your partner, but lacking sexual interaction) then by all means do you honey! Some of us prioritize sex more than others. If you feel like you might be one of these people (who needs and appreciates sex) and you are in a sexless relationship (even though your partner is your best friend) I urge you to reconsider your standpoint. The truth always has a funny was of surfacing. When you suppress your needs ugly feelings like regret, resentment, and depression always seem to rear up shortly after. If you are afraid of leaving a partner for fear of hurting them realize that ripping off a band-aid only stings a little, but letting someone become attached to a false reality is far more horrid and painful. All I’m trying to say is let’s be honest with ourselves and our intentions in 2016. I promise it will make you and everyone around you much happier.

I found my favorite pair of shoes (hot pink Nike Cortez) last year. I never thought I would be a Nike person (seeing as how I’m an extremely loyal Converse fanatic), but I’m happy to report that I wear my Cortez’s almost everywhere with no issue. This shoe has everything I’m looking for; it’s stylish and sleek, durable, and above all else it is comfortable. Finding a good, solid pair of shoes is rare in this world. Most shoes come with some sort of catch (i.e. too narrow, gives you blisters, can only be worn for a short amount of time, don’t really go with any of your clothes like you thought), just like most people come with some sort of baggage. No one person (or shoe) is perfect, but when you find someone who easily and effortlessly fits into your life and makes it better hold on to that person tight because they are few and far between. Don’t be afraid to express your true feelings and emotions. Chase after what you really want. I hope that whatever 2016 brings, you find love and happiness.

xo

#216 #2016 #shelbysells