Interview With Willem Wolfe

(photos by shelby sells)

state your name / age / occupation

willem wolfe / 26 / musician

how do you approach dating? are you more formal or casual?

yea. hopefully you met in a natural way, let's say at a bar, and you think someone's cute... hopefully you get the guts to tell them and then maybe you go on a date. maybe. if you care about somebody i suppose you'd go on a date first (laughs).

would you ask a girl out on a date if you liked her?

yes, for sure. i'd like them to ask me really. i'm feminine enough. i like a strong woman (laughs).

haha okay, okay. i see you. here's a big one - do you split the bill at dinner or do you pay for it?

i would say i'd pay for the bill. in reality, my card might not work at the time and i'll be like "i'll pay you back" (laughing). or my card worked and i paid for it. or it's cool if a girl wants to help pay for it. i'm all for that.

it's nice to offer at least! especially when y'all first start dating. how do you normally meet girls? you said irl right?

usually at a party or something like that.

you like to party?

i like to party (laughs). but yeah, i usually meet people out. i suppose if you have a house party you can meet people that way too.

true haha. what are some deal breakers of yours?

the first thing that comes to mind is if you don't give head it's not going to happen. i know it's horrible that it's a sexual thing first (laughs) but it's like that.

i don't think it's horrible lol. if a guy doesn't want to go down on me he's 86'd off top.

and there's a lot of dudes like that. i have a lot of friends like that. i think big pun said "i want to say first i don't go down there" or something and you're like damn. okay big pun thanks for being honest and straight up at least (laughs).

okay pun i see you and i'm not down for that attitude haha.

he's not a player, he just crushes a lot.

maybe not as much anymore... that is a good deal breaker though.

(laughs) i can't think of anything else really. maybe if they're too superficial... like they don't like my car or something then that's horrible. i'm not into that.

yea that's whack as hell. no one wants to be with someone who's only about looks and material things. have you ever been in love before? explain.

i think so. i feel like love is a stranger to me definitely, but i feel like i've been in love. maybe i'll meet someone else and be like "oh this is what it's like to be in love" and maybe it's like that every time around. but yeah, i've been in love before.

have you ever had your heart broken?

oh yeah. (laughs)

what did that feel like?

ugh. felt good (laughs).

lmaooo did you hear that everyone? it feels good ;-) BEST feeling haha.

it felt good after. when you get back on your feet and start listening to 'return of the mack' (starts singing) and you're chilling with your homies again and you're feeling stronger like you've got a scar and it's healed over. it never hurts as bad as it does the first time. every other time reminds you of the first time. it's never as painful. it's like the first shot of jim bean, it's really gross, but then the rest of it is fine (laughs). always tough, that first one.

hahaha omggg i've never been a shot person i gag every time. describe the dating scene in LA.

um... the little bit that i've done... it's a lot of driving, right? because you're not taking any kind of public transportation (laughs). usually you're not meeting up somewhere and you go pick the girl up. if you do meet somewhere it's pretty rare i suppose. maybe you'd go out on a date - if it wasn't happening you'd never go out on another one. if it was happening, you'd go out on more. if it develops, cool, sometimes it just doesn't. if you break your phone and you lose that person's number... god knows what happens (laughs).

hey, sorry i broke my phone and never called you again. please forgive me. love, willem.

(laughing) pretty much.

are you a sexual person?

yeah. a little too much so.

i feel. is it important to you in a relationship?

yeah. it's almost addictive. love is a drug. sex is a drug. caffeine is a drug. sugar is a drug.

i'm addicted to sugar more than anything else lol. i neeeeeeeeeeed it. i agree, people can be drugs. you have to be careful to not fall into a codependent relationship. how long have you been sexually active?

oh man. does that include masturbating?

sure.

probably 11 or 12. i've been having sex since i was 14. it was with my longterm girlfriend and we both lost our virginities to each other so we were equally clueless.

lol just fumbling around all nervous. how has being in a band affected your dating?

you go on stage and people i guess just want the person who's up there for the night. you don't even have to be famous. apparently you're somehow instantly hotter if you stand on stage. i guess that bugs out an insecure relationship. if your relationship isn't secure then it's going to mess with it. if your partner doesn't care and is on top of their shit and you're on top of your shit and there's no cheating the relationship should be solid, basically. even if the relationship is solid it's still tough. you have to deal with touring etc. different area codes... that whole rule.

haha is that an official rule???

(laughs) no.

i was gonna say lol. yea when you date someone in the entertainment industry i feel like you have to be extra clear when discussing and forming the boundaries of your relationship. communication is especially important. does having famous parents have an affect on your dating / sex life?

i wish. i wonder if it has secretly. i wouldn't know. i don't think it ever has though. i would love that if it had (laughs). i've never had stardom get me laid. could be nice i guess.

hahaha nahhh i doubt you're missing out on much. what qualities do you look for in a mate?

someone with their head on their shoulders, a little more grounded than i am. i do love a girl with a wild side. i don't look for this, but subconsciously i think i confuse crazy with weird (i love weird), so i go for constant crazy. i always think a girl is weird and different and cool, but then they're always crazy. i guess i look for beauty, elegance, class but can also go camping. i want the whole 9 yards - lady in the streets, freak in the sheets (laughs). never musician girls though. musician girls are always the toughest ones. i can't deal.

lmao!! who doesn't want the entire package? likes to party but has their shit together? GOALS. i always find it funny when people don't like to date other people in their field. i totally understand it though, i need variety. what's something you've always wanted to know about women?

almost every aspect of being a woman. from having feelings towards a guy to the need to be monogamous. why do men want to spread their seed but women want to just be with one guy? also the difference between a girl cheating on a guy and a guy cheating on a girl.

do you think it means more if a girl cheats on a guy?

no because i'd like to think that we're equal. a lot of times in society people like to make it out like we're not equal.

i think it's probably the same for everyone. if you're not happy or getting your needs met you're probably more prone to cheat, regardless of what gender you are.

true. that's a tough question. what do i want to know about women? everything. i want to know what it's like to have tits for a day. every dude wants to know what it's like to have boobs (laughs).

hahaha i'm deaddd. it's fun to have boobs i'll tell you that much. do you judge girls who are open about their sexuality?

no. people call girls sluts for being open. everyone is offended by everything nowadays. i applaud anyone who is themselves. it's good to be open minded and confident in your sexuality. what guy doesn't like a girl who takes control in the bedroom?

ayeee true that! society really does need to chill out on the whole "taking things personally" mindset. newsflash - not everything is about you! do you go down on girls?

of course (laughs). of course!!

good.

eat that booty out! (laughs)

lmaooo lil b style. what form of protection do you use when hooking up?

if you're dating somebody it's different i suppose. i would tell any youngster to wear a condom (laughs) it's more of a 'do as i say, not as i do' situation. it's so easy to tell people to do something and then not do it yourself. a lot of the time i'll rationalize by being like oh i know this person so it's okay (to not use a condom).

you have to be careful though because you don't know who that person has hooked up with even if you think you know them really well!! especially if you're in an on and off relationship.

it's never good. it's always gross and sad. you end up hooking up and then going to get tested (laughs).

the struggle. if you like a girl how often do you text her? what's your communication style?

hmm. it depends on the relationship for sure. with someone i'm comfortable with we could text all day or we could get in a fight and not talk for 3 days. it's so erratic. you can be texting all the time or every now and then until you get together. i'm a gemini so i can either be super cuddly and lovey or i can freak out and hide out while i work on music. if you really like someone and you're in a thing with them it should easy to communicate.

i like being able to text my boo throughout the day or if i find a funny picture i know he'd like or hot new song etc.

that's the best. my buddy always sends me funny links.

do you have any bedroom tips or advice for the readers out there?

now i get to share all my secrets with everyone? (laughs) if you are a very sexual person you need no tip. you are the way you are and that's great and you should find someone who's down with that. if you're not sexual and you're looking for tips then you should just try to be as natural as possible and be yourself. that always works the best. when you try too hard it never really works out. if you're just yourself, even if it's weird, people are drawn more to that element of confidence vs trying to be someone you're not. i have a friend who doesn't really care about whether or not he gets laid - his day doesn't revolve around it (like how mine does sometimes) - and that's where i want to be. having that non-sexual attitude with all of my sexual greatness underneath sounds amazing. i want that 'i'm okay without sex' vibe. that would be great. just be yourself. the only way you're going to grow sexually is by being yourself, making mistakes (cumming too early, not being able to get it up), and working through them.

it's definitely okay to make mistakes. sex shouldn't be SO SERIOUS anyways. i like what you said about being yourself. you can't go wrong by staying true to who you are. do you have any last words / final comments on love / sex / relationships etc.?

a lot of people have a stick up their ass when it comes to sex - if you can get over your own worries or insecurities and be yourself people will love you. loving yourself and the people around you is the sole purpose of being on this planet. love is the oneness of our consciousness. we should all unconditionally love each other. check out FIM and my friend julia and my new music video!

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