Interview Series: Chanel C

state your name / age / occupation

chanel c / 24 / merchandiser

so you’re fresh out of a relationship, how long we’re you and your current ex together?

almost two years.

how does it feel coming out of that?

it feels really good. surprisingly i thought it was going to be really hurtful and i was going to be all damaged and scared, but i feel like myself again.

i’m glad to hear that. what’s your next move?

well i moved out of our apartment haha. i’m just getting settled in my new space and getting close with all my friends again. i’m getting more addicted to my friends i feel like. addicted to friends, addicted to family. i’m also doing more photo shoots – i just got signed again with a new acting agent and i have representation for modeling now, too.

that’s awesome! would you consider yourself a ‘relationship’ kind of girl?

yea. i’m always in a relationship it feels like. on to the next. i feel like i’m such a baby i need a daddy, but at the same time i could be either way. i could be completely independent or in a relationship. the relationship that i was in previously was so manipulative that i couldn’t do anything else but be in that relationship.

have you ever dated someone who’s been manipulative like that before?

no, never. that’s why it was so blinding. love is blind, but i never thought that it would be like that. it’s terrifying to be out of it and look at it now.

do you have any advice for girls out there who might also be going through the same thing you just went through? about how to deal with it?

i think everyone is just scared because the comfort is there. when it’s good it’s real good, when it’s bad it’s awful. my advice is to not be scared, because once you’re without it you’re that much better and that much stronger. you realize how much happier you could have been.

what are you looking for in your next relationship?

the comfort of having someone to take care of me and someone to be safe with. when i go out i want him to watch my back. for example, if i get drunk he takes care of me, type of thing. i never had that with my past relationship. take care of me, i’m little haha. be my protector and then at the end of the day ask me how i am, be interested in my life and what i’m doing. in my last relationship it was all about my ex because he was insecure. he did​n’t love himself. i definitely need someone who’s confident in themselves, love themselves, is close to their family, close to their friends, and have people that respect them. that way i can respect them. i need someone who’s always about cuddling and kissing me and giving me attention and affection. surprise me, i love surprises.

a lot of people are either breaking up or getting together right now, what’s your explanation for this?

i think it’s the change of season. summer is cooling down, so all the sexual tension is gone. now that it’s getting colder, everyone is mellowing out and realizing what they really want. i think it’s a good thing. change is always good.

i agree. a lot of girls these days come across either cute or sexy, how do you feel about straddling the fine line between the two?

i think being sexy and cute is definitely a must because i feel like it displays both of my personalities. i’m cute like i like pink ‘n shit, but at the same time i think sexiness is always something that should be broadcasted. it always should be illustrated. girls are sexy, and if you can show that off, why wouldn’t you? you know? i think it makes even fashion or inspiration that much more intriguing, because not only do you have a pretty face to look at, you also have that sense of desire.

are you a freak in the sheets?

haha yes. i think i’ve gotten freakier over the years – my knowledge and my maturity. the more mature i get, the freakier i get because i’m more confident in myself, which leads to me enjoying it more. my confidence led me to experiment and try new things. my mentality is that we’re all going to have fun in this so why not? strip tease, toys, dressing up… i always like surprising my man. i treat my man right if he treats me right. if he treats me well he’s going to get dessert every night, you know what i’m saying?

oh girl! i love it! i’m always down to please my man.

it’s fun because they get excited, then you get excited.

when you talk about toys what do you mean?

um, i don’t know. dildos are fun… handcuffs, anything restraining is fun. i like being restrained, but at the same time i like to be bossy.

have you ever done any fantasy kind of stuff where you dress up as a maid or anything?

i used to. i definitely like doing role play i think it’s really cute, especially when you have the opportunity to have sex anywhere. it’s like ‘what’re we going to do this time, where are we?’ haha. this one time i was so horny and i was in the car like ‘fuck! what’re we going to do?’ we were in the middle of nowhere on the highway. i couldn’t take it anymore and i was like giving him road head and i was like this is not the one, so we pulled off of the side of the road and had sex outside of my car leaned up against it.

would you consider yourself a ride or die, and what would you define that as?

yes. i think it’s universal for everything. you ride or die for your relationship. i don’t want to get in something and think ‘oh maybe i like him’ i need him to be the one and want him to be my boyfriend. if he’s mine i’ll defend him through anything. i’m a ride or die for my bitches. don’t fuck with them because you’re fucking with me. i’m so strong about that. and then ride or die for myself, i’m not going to beat myself up over something. i never regret what i do and i never want to second guess myself. even if i make mistakes i acknowledge and learn from them.

people are human – everyone makes mistakes, it’s about growing from them and continuing to love yourself. i feel like a lot of girls these days struggle with loving themselves unconditionally, so you have any advice for them? learning how to be comfortable with yourself?

you’re stuck with yourself. you’re all you’ve got, so you have to work with yourself because you’re going to die if you don’t. head to toe, you’ll crumble if you don’t love what you’ve got. your parents fucked each other and made you and you’re going to be sad about it? fuck you haha. you’re fucking here! when me and ex broke up i thought my life was ruined and i wondered why he did that to me and then i was like ‘fuck him’ and got over it. i realized my life was so much better.

what do you think it’s gonna take for a guy to grab your attention now?

i like guys that are persistent – when they’re always grabbing my attention in some way. i like when it’s natural. i also like when it’s a little thuggy, girls need a thug. i love white boys, but if you got it you got it. i lose interest so quickly because there’s always so much going on, so if you don’t ride my ass you won’t get any ass.

how did you lose your virginity?

i lost it to my boyfriend at the time. he was two years older than me. for a minute i was super catholic, grew up in a catholic home, went to a private catholic school, hella spoiled, that whole thing. my boyfriend went to public school, ‘bad boy’. he always wanted it but we just hooked up for two years. he was a virgin, too. i would always think ‘what about god?’ i was 15 and nervous. but then it slowly happened and i like started crying until i was like ‘oh.. oh wait..’ haha and it felt good. it was cute how it all happened though. he was so obsessed after that and i was like ‘okay i get it’, and then i loved it and thought it was fun.

how are you going to go about meeting guys now?

i don’t know. i have no idea. i’m trying to lurk guys on facebook. potential prospects because you can see how they dress, what kind of things they’re into, and who they know. but it’s not working out. i don’t have the fucking patience to look through shit. i don’t give a fuck. you never know. with dudes it’s so different. i’m down to meet anybody anywhere. if you look cool and i don’t know you i’ll meet you in a public space or whatever. at the same time i’d rather meet someone through a mutual friend so it’s more natural and organic.

what’s something you’ve always wanted to try in bed?

hmm… well i always wanted to have a threesome, and then i did it and it was overrated. i did it with my boyfriend at the time and another guy, but my boyfriend was too protective even though he really wanted it too. the other boy was sleeping on the couch and my boyfriend made me go get him. i was so scared and nervous, but my boyfriend said he’d get mad at me if i didn’t do it. so i go out there and ask him to join us in bed (naked) haha. his eyes lit up immediately. i walk him back and at first it was so awkward and they asked me what i wanted them to do even though i had no idea haha. i told them to get undressed. i was freaking out i was so nervous. and then my boyfriend told the other boy to have sex with me and at first i just laid there, but then i started to enjoy it and as soon as my boyfriend realized that he kicked the other boy out of the room. it was weird because i wanted to try it, but at the same time i just wanted my man, no one else. and then it happened again – insinuated by my boyfriend – and he stopped it again because he could see the other boy was so obsessed haha. it’s overrated. i mean i enjoyed it, it was hot, but i get more horny when it’s just me and my man.

who is your role model?

i don’t really have role models. i think it’s really hard to because there’s so many people that are beautiful and getting it. there’s certain things you can look up to in anyone. i look up to my friends in certain ways, i look up to my parents in certain ways, i look up to artists in certain ways. i don’t think there’s necessarily a role model that i have. mainly i draw inspiration from gwen stefani, she’s the one that’s always on top for me. other than that, i feel like everyone could be a role model. i think everyone has a certain thing about them that is so strong and it’s so because of their past because it’s made them who they are. as far as fashion goes, i draw from ashanti and aaliyah. fearless bitches are my role model.

do you have any final thoughts/last words on sex/relationships/etc.?

sometimes i feel like sexy is looked down upon. no woman should be ashamed of being sexy or looking sexy, ever. no woman should be put down. every girl should feel like a princess. every girl is a princess, if you’re not being treated that way it’s time to make a change. move on, don’t restrain to anything, and know that everyone is beautiful. just be grateful. i feel like people aren’t grateful anymore. the internet is great, it’s fantastic for promoting yourself, but don’t forget about real life and the relationships that you have. in the end, respect yourself, respect the people you surround yourself with, and be grateful for what you have around you. it makes me so sad to think that people are so miserable because they’re unaware to see the good things around them. also, beware. beware of anything and everything because there’s gonna be people who will use you for personal gain. be aware of who you know and what you do with them. you have to be careful because people will take advantage.

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